Broch's New Signing

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Broch's New Signing

Post by ThirdMcIntyreO'Hara » Tue Mar 14, 2006 8:38 am

Fraserburgh Football Club are on the look out for some new talent
and send a scout to Iraq where they find a fantastic new player.Gordon
Chegwyn flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and
arranges for him to come over to the "Broch" to play at Bellslea Park
Two weeks later the "Broch" are 2-0 down to Elgin, away from home, with
only 30 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker
the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation, with his first touch
he controls on the halfway line, waltzes past 4 Defenders, and bangs it in
the top corner. 10 minutes later, with his back to goal just outside the 18 yard
box he controls the ball on his chest spins round and chips the keeper

The crowd are silenced and choking on their Prawn Sandwiches. Injury
time, in the dying seconds he dribbles into the box only to encounter
one of Martin Johnson's normal mistimed tackles, and for once the
Penalty is given. The lad, although still suffering from the knee high
challenge, gets to his feet and cool as a cucumber slots the ball firmly
into the net, scores 3 goals and wins the game for The "Broch". A hero.

When the player comes off the pitch, Chegwyn and Team mates alike are
quick to congratulate the boy, after all the celebration has died down
and when his has a few moments to himself he phones his mum to
tell her about his first day in Scottish football

"Hello mum, guess what - I played for half an hour today,
scored 3 goals and won the game. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media,
they all love me."

"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my
day...while you were having a great time, your father got shot in the street, your
youngest sister and I were ambushed and beaten up, your brother has joined a gang of
looters. The same looters who smashed our front door in last night and stole
our TV, DVD, Video, all our cash before escaping in the family car, leaving it abandoned

and burnt out, and your oldest sister has been kidnapped by a fanatical group being held for
ransom and unless we get her out will be forced into prostitution and drugs."

The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?!!" says his mum, "Sorry?!!"

"It's your fault we moved to Fraserburgh in the first place
The best forward line EVER!

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